The Daily Mail - 1 February 1999 - Comments by Rachael

WE ARREST YOU, MR. DEPP, FOR ACTING LIKE A BRAT

-'WITH his gaunt face, bare chest and scuffed shoes he could have been mistaken for a tramp begging for food.'

You can see where the Mail's sympathies lie, straight from the start. Johnny wasn't dressed up to the nines like 'real' Mayfair people, so he must be scum. Typical bloody British snobbery, I'm afraid.

-'"He was out of control," said one photographer who saw the American actor’s outburst in the early hours of Saturday. "We were telling him we’d leave, but he just carried on. We just wanted a nice happy picture.'

As if! Johnny's hatred of intrusion into his private life is reknowned, and he had already made his unhappiness about the media's presence clear to the paparazzi via the restaurant's management earlier on. It would be obvious to anyone with half a brain (that obviously excludes photo-journalists then) that the likelihood of a 'nice happy picture' was, on a scale of 1-10, round about minus 200.

-'The speed the whole thing escalated was unreal. We had no idea where on earth he got the wood from."'

Perhaps it was conveniently planted by the paparazzi beforehand somewhere where Johnny could easily see it. After all, it's hardly the sort of thing one finds on the table at an exclusive Mayfair restaurant, alongside the fish fork. Nor is it likely to be an article one generally takes out to dinner. Although perhaps Madamoiselle Paradis had it secreted in her handbag for self-defence purposes, bearing in mind the fact that mace is illegal in the UK.

-'Dressed in gispy-syle flowing red and black skirt, fur-trimmed jacket, brown suede boots and a headscarf, she had looked as unconventional as her boyfriend as she left the £80-a-head restaurant.'

Ah, there we have it: the couple looked 'unconventional,' so were obviously asking for trouble. I mean, one mustn't look non-conformist in Mayfair, daaahrling. It's just not tennis.

-'The pair dined with an older couple who were said to have tried to restrain the furious actor.'

There is no mention of these people in the other articles. Who were they and where did they go? Did they perhaps morph into the 'minder' and 'mate' of Johnny's and 'mate' of Vanessa's mentioned in the Sun?

-'Notorious for his hell-raising off-screen antics, Depp is no stranger to police cells and was famously arrested for wrecking a New York hotel room four years ago.'

Yes, let's forget the fact that Johnny is a superb actor and just concentrate instead on the bad press he's had in the past.

-'The actor, who has been engaged to actresses Winona Ryder and Jenifer Grey, plus British super-model Kate Moss, owns the Viper Room nightclub in Los Angeles, which gained notoriety when actor River Phoenix died of a drugs overdose on its doorstep.'

Let's see what other dirt we can dig up and throw back in Johnny's face, after all, celebrity-bashing is a national sport over here.

-'Miss Paradis, who recorded the hit Joe le Taxi at the age of 14 has been living with the star in the Monmatre district of Paris since his on-off relationship with Miss Moss finally ended last year.'

And let's imply that he can't maintain a relationship for more than five mintes.

-'EXCLUSIVE: AMAZING PICTURES OF HOLLYWOOD WILDMAN’S NIGHT OF SHAME'

Well you can see where this lot of critcally acclaimed literary geniuses are headed straight off.

-'JOHNNY’S IN DEPP TROUBLE'

Ooh, that's sooo funny and original! Can't beleive they all missed the chance to work Ed *Wood* into the headlines.

-'Movie star Johnny Depp was arrested after lashing out at photographers with a 2ft lump of wood outside a top London restaurant.'

If that lump of wood was 2ft long, then I'm Mrs. Johnny Depp. You can see from the photos that it's much smaller than that...unless the cop holding it has uncommonly large hands.

-'Our exclusive pictures show Depp, 35, being led away in shame after running amok screaming four-letter abuse.'

The use of the word 'shame' to describe what Johnny was feeling at the time is pure conjecture. If he was feeling anything, it was more likely to be outrage at an infringement of his civil liberties. If anyone should be ashamed for behaving badly, it should be the vultures who quite obviously generated this whole fiasco.

-'The Hollywood heart-throb who at first tried to hide the chunk of wood from cops, was taken to West End Central police station where he was held in a cell for nearly four hours. He was cautioned.'

Had Johnny genuinely been attacking people with the wood, as has been alleged, believe you me, he would have been charged and detained.

-'Last night Sun snapper Linus Moran told how Depp "flipped out" when he and other photographers tried to take his picture as he left London restaurant Mirabelle.'

And this was a surprise to him why?

-'Linus, 29, said: "He was like a madman. He was swinging the piece of wood at photographers as he chased them down the road. All hell broke loose until the police turned up and frog-marched him into the back of one of their vans. We were lucky to escape without any broken bones."'

Shame they got away.

-'Depp was leaving Mirabelle in Mayfair when five snappers tried to get his picture. The acclaimed actor, who starred in Edward Scissorhands and Donnie Brasco, had been dining with his pregnant French girlfriend, 26-year-old actress Vanessa Paradis and one of her pals.'

Hmm, thought it was an elderly couple.

-'After paying his bill, he emerged to tell the newsmen: "There won’t be any pictures tonight, or there will be a fight."'

So Johnny had warned the reporters, giving them a fair chance to leave.

-'"He was holding out his hands expecting us to give him our cameras. He had a crazed look. Of course we refused - all we were doing was our jobs.'

Must be nice to get paid for harassing people in public places, invading their privacy and exposing their intimate moments on a world-wide basis at every opportunity. Hmm, didn't the jury already make the public's views known on paparazzi morals after Princess Diana's death? Some people never learn.

-'Shortly afterwards, Vanessa and her friend emerged and got into the waiting car. When someone took her photograph, Depp and a male friend chased after us, in and out of parked cars.'

So who was this male freind? What happened to the couple mentioned in the Mail? And obviously what triggered Johnny's anger was that the press persisted in their harassment and took shots of his girlfreind despite being warned to the contrary. Seems to me that any decent man would be protective of his partner when she's four months pregnant.

-'Depp was brandishing a 2ft chunk of wood and swinging at us with it. In the mayhem his minder whacked me on the forehead.'

So now Vanessa's pal has turned into Johnny's 'minder.' Also, the report's headlines imply that it was Johnny who was bashing people, now it turns out it was the 'minder.'

-'I have a red mark there now.'

Good, I hope your head falls off.

-'We called police because we feared for our safety.'

Yeah right. You called the police because you knew shots of Johnny Depp being hauled off by the cops would make a good spread for which you'd get loads of blood money. This soooo screams 'SET UP!'

-'They arrived within minutes'

Unlikely for a start on a Saturday night...unless they'd had prior notification of the event, of course.

-'and had to restrain Depp before frog-marching him into the back of a police van. Even as he was being shoved in, he kept lashing out until the police grabbed the wood from him."'

Hardly likely again, as the *first* thing police would do is disarm a manic wildman who is threatening violence. I hardly think they'd wait a few minutes until they were putting him in the van and *then* decide, 'Oh, hey, why don't we take this chunk of wood he's hitting people with off him.'

-'Another photographer said: "It was like he was acting, putting on this huge fight.'

You *what*?!

-'He was trying to frighten us, trying to make us afraid. It was all very provocative but no-one took a single picture of him until the police arrived and he was arrested."'

That's *very* strange. I mean, there are no less than *five* professional photographers present, with the alleged opportunity of a lifetime: i.e. to snap pictures of a major movie star going on the rampage in the the most swanky part of the UK's capital city, and they fail to get *one* shot?! It's my personal opinion that, if it had happened the way the photographers tell it, there'd be *dozens* of shots all over the world's press by now. The fact that there's no photographic record of the incident, other than Johnny being taken away by cops on the accusation of the hacks, tells me that the alleged assault NEVER HAPPENED.

-'Another snapper, who did not want to be named, added: "We’d been tipped off that Depp was at the restaurant'

That's quite telling. It gives the reporters plenty of time to rig a set up.

-'The management informed us he knew we were there and he was a bit annoyed. Depp came to one of the side doors. He wanted one of the cameras -- possibly to break it. He kept saying he didn’t want his picture taken.'

So the photographers were warned first by the management of the restaurant, and Johnny himself.

-'One of the photographers took a couple of pictures.'

So *they* started the incident by doing exactly what they'd been asked not to do.

-'Depp said: "Do you want a ****ing mess? I’ll ****ing kill you." Bizarrely, he used an Irish accent.'

These turkeys probably can't tell the difference between an Irish accent and an American one.

-'He came out with a piece of wood in his hand. He must have picked it up inside.'

Oh yes, because all the best restaurants have a stack of wooden stakes by main reception, maybe for the very purpose of driving through the hearts of blood-sucking parasites like this lot.

-'He threatened to smash our heads in and he was swearing.'

I think I'd have done the same actually.

-'He muscled up to each of us, threatening us with this piece of wood. He chased us down the road. All the time none of us took a single picture.'

How strange that still, these people who make their living by peddling invasive snapshots of those with more talent and charisma than themselves, totally failed to record the admittedly historic event for posterity. If I were their editors I'd fire the lot of them for professional ineptitude over this missed opportunity.

-'We called the police after this had gone on for five minutes.'

Again, unbelievable. Five professional photographers couldn't get one photo between them over a five minute timespan. Hmmm.

-'I had started to walk back towards the restaurant as the flashing lights appeared. Depp chased me round the back of a van with the wood tucked under his arm.'

Thought he was brandishing it. How was he being threatening with the so-called offensive weapon 'tucked under his arm?' What could the police have charged him with at that point, 'intent to put up a few bookshelves?' Didn't know carrying DIY provisions was a crime.

-'Within seconds the police jumped out and grabbed him. He still had the wood in his possession. The guy with him came up to me and pushed my camera into my face, cutting my head.'

So, this mystery man was the only one who actually hit anyone. Why wasn't *he* arrested for assault?

-'He was very nasty as well. He became really nasty when Depp was arrested but he got in their car.'

I'm really confused here. This un-named chap was the only one who allegedly hit anyone, yet Johnny was arrested.

-'"Vanessa and her pal stayed in the car throughout the amazing bust-up.'

Really, I'd have expected a delicately-built pregnant woman to jump out into the middle of the fracas and start swinging.

-'Depp, in London to film horror-romance Sleepy Hollow, is no stramger to police cells. He was charged after wrecking a New York hotel room...'

Let's rake up the past again.

-'and said: "There are probably a couple of people I should have hit."'

Funny, I thought this quote made a reference to his life in general, and was not made at the time. Hardly like The Sun to quote things out of context.

-'Scotland Yard said last night the matter is now closed. A spokesman said: "A 35-year-old man was cautioned and released without charge. He is not on bail and does not have to report back to us." And the snappers have no plans for civil action. Sun man Linus said: "I just want to put this behind me and go on taking pictures."'

"And ruining people's lives with total fabrications which I and my colleagues have completely engineered for the sole purpose of profit, based on sensationalism and falsehood."

Rachael

Someone at my work place had left a copy of the Sun in the smoking room. I read it when I went to ave a cigarette break.

There was one photograph of J.D with a piece of wood behind his back but it looked a bit perculiar, I have several doubts as to its being genuine. With the technology these days the tabloids could provide a picture of J.D leaving a restaurant with Miss Piggy tucked under his arm if they wanted to. Can't you just see the headline? "Johnny Depp makes top model Miss Piggy pregnant. "I want to be a dad" says Depp.

We can not even be one hundred percent sure that the photo of Depp with the police men wasn't a devious bit of creativity on some idiots part. All you need is a photo of Depp and a seperate photo of a couple of burly coppers!!!!!

Whatever. I would like to thank Racheal for her hillarious comments about a pathetic tabloid articlevthat made me laugh out loud when I read it. It was THAT bad!!!!!! It seemed to me that the journalist who had written it could have made a fortune if he had been alive to write for the Marx Brothers.

I and my work colleagues, that includes the lads out in the factory, said "Why don't they leave the poor bloke alone!!!"

I agree with Rachael, I too would have lost my rag if I had come out of a restaurant and seen that bunch of talentless plug uglies waiting to take my photograph. The air would have been blue in fact!!!

However, there was NO picture of Johnny waving the plank of wood. (Maybe he bit the leg off the table he was dining at!!!!!Or maybe sawed it off with his knife!!!!!)This explains the reason for the police not charging him, no photographed evidence, and very important this, OBVIOUSLY NO WITNESSES!!!(Except the journalists of course and WHO is likely to believe them????????? It seems ridiculous to me that even though there were apparently so many cameras at the scene, there is absolutely no evidence that any of this happened. I agree that there would have been big money for the photographer who got a photo of Johnny waving the weapon, screaming obscenities, in his IRISH accent of course!!!!! Yet not one these money-grabbing individuals felt inclined to take THAT photograph. Well, you don't need an IQ of 160 to work out that the photo wasn't taken because Johnny didn't behave in that manner at all.

There was a picture of a girl printed in the paper, (They said it was Vanessa Paradis) however it was impossible to recognise the girl as anyone as her features were wrapped up in a head scarf. No proof that that photo was taken at that location either. It was just the head and shoulders of a girl in a headscarf with her mouth and nose covered up. It could have been anyone!!!! Someone, photographed earlier in the day with a very bad cold outside a Doctor's surgery perhaps, A passer by? A mother of ten kids outside her flat in Glasgow?? They could have put a head and shoulders pose of anyone in the article. It doesn't mean they were there at the time.

So there we have it. Accusations of violence but no photographic evidence even though there must have been at least ten cameras there. He was evidently dining with his pregnat girlfriend - Cue photo of heavily disguised girl taken 100 miles away to back up the story the journalists are telling. Also no witnesses to help the police on what must have been a crowded London Street..... I am glad to see that the Good Ol' British Bobby has more common sense than the average journalist and saw this little set-up for what it was. I think the police (If they know anything about it at all - we have NO proof of THAT either) realised that this was a work of fiction designed to discredit Johnny Depp. It was however proved, that the people in our offices and factory who read the article did not believe it had happened anyway.

Once again. Thanks Rachael for your down to earth, witty, comments. I rest my case. You can't believe anything you read OR SEE in the papers.

Oh by the way!!!!! Yesterday the paper said that the Producers of Sleepy Hollow were FURIOUS with Depp's behaviour and had warned him that this mustn't happen again. .......Oh Per-lease!!Just HOW guillible do they think we are?????

Caroline

...That, however, doesn't mean that the Bates is the only place left on the planet where people are swinging big sticks at one another. Members of the Austin-born supergroup P (which made its debut at the 1993 Austin Music Awards) made international news this week when guitarist Bill Carter and bassist/übercelebrity Johnny Depp, in London working on Tim Burton's upcoming film Legend of Sleepy Hollow, became embroiled in a battle with members of the press. An AP article says that Depp, in a scene that eerily foreshadows the lensing of Taiter: the Motion Picture, "chased off photographers with a piece of wood outside a trendy restaurant where he had dined with French actress Vanessa Paradis. Police held the actor for almost four hours after the fracas." A Chronicle source on the scene rebuts the reports, saying that Depp "did get a bit irate, but only after the six photographers were warned, 'no pictures. They took a bunch of pictures of Ruth [Ellsworth, Carter's wife and co-writer] and Vanessa anyway, then they ran around and persisted. Johnny found a club about two feet long and kept them at bay for awhile, terrorizing them until someone called the cops. Once the cops came and arrested Johnny, all the cameras went off." At that point, Carter blew his top and physically attacked the bevy of photographers, but because Depp is more famous, it was Gilbert Grape who got hauled off to the pokey instead.

The other night I saw a chat show where the guests were all discussing Johnny's arrest. Funnily, the sole topic of interest was the price he paid for that bottle of wine! Nobody seemed at all concerned that he'd had a rumble with the press. I think that, after the whole Diana incident, the British public have little or no sympathy for the paparazzi. In fact, many of us feel that even had Johnny mowed the lot of them down with an Uzi, it would have been considered no more than a misdemenour; some might go so far as to say it'd be a good place to start!

The programme was the flagship talk show of Channel 5, Britain's newest terrestrial station. The host is a witty Scotsman called Jack Docherty and his guests that night were three well known UK comedians. Their attitude towards the whole incident was light-hearted, and the only remotely derogatory thing said about Johnny was that if he was drinking wine, he couldn't be a 'real' man! This however was said in jest and I got the impression that they all rather admired Johnny for raising hell in style. They went on to say that it's a man's prerogative to go out on the weekend, get 'tanked up' (drunk) and have a good scrap with someone. The only difference between Johnny and any regualr British 'lad' is the fact that he got drunk on wine, rather than cheap imported lager!

There's still a huge amount of doubt that Johnny even actually hit anyone at all, but in any case, nobody on the show seemed to take the accusations levelled against him seriously. I'm sure that the general consensus in this country reflects the opinions voiced on message boards world-wide, namely: even if Johnny *had* dealt a few photographers a couple of conks on the head with a plank, so what? They deserved it!

As I mentioned prevously, the main preoccupation over here in the UK actually seems to be with the price tag on the evening. Apparently the final bill was £17,000. The guests on the Jack Docherty Show had fun trying to figure out what the hell Johnny could have bought for that, and surmising that he must have eaten everything himself because Vanessa wouldn't have much of an appetite. One theory was that the bill reflected Vanessa's mother-to-be food cravings. They painted a picture of an endless stream of waiters bringing odd combinations of exotic foods, which needed to be flown in specially, to Johnny's table all night. This they beleived would account for the astronomical bill!

In all seriousness though, I can't help thinking, that if Johnny had spent so much on an evening, wouldn't the implication be that he wanted the night to be a special occasion, which would make the intrusion of the press especially unwelcome, ruining, as it did, a pleasant night out. I think *I* would have swung for that pack of vultures had I been in Johnny's position.

Rachael